Hate is a Shipping Container

It travels from one shore

To the next,

Gradually filling up.

It is never quite stable,

Rocked by the waves

And handled carefully

By those around you.

Its malleable size

Is all dependent

On what you put into it.

And at the end of the journey

Its contents will spill out

In a dockyard

Only to be filled again

At dawn.

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Tempest

The waves hit

And my whole body

Shuts down.

Not just waves,

But tidal,

Can be felt from head to toe,

Stealing my breath

And compressing my chest.

Lungs begin to fill

With the fiery water

Causing me to ache

And causing me to shake.

The cold sinks in

And blurs my vision.

But I will not drown today;

Push back against the current

Fight for another breath

Swim towards the surface

Shout to the heavens

To give you

A damn

Break.

‘To cry to the sea

That roared to us’

Is sometimes

The best we can do.

Homelessness

How fortunate to have a home

At this time of year.

Alas though, where is my home?

It’s certainly not here.

 

Here I feel like I’m a guest,

Clothes still suitcase bound.

But there is not my home either,

No comforts to be found.

 

Here is where my family are

Though there I am still loved;

Here I did not choose myself

Though there I’m not thereof.

 

Will this always be the case?

Live at both and let it be?

Perhaps I should be happy that

Two homes will welcome me.

Remember, Remember

November 5th.

A little while ago.

Back when you could do no wrong

And you were simply my superhero.

Built like a giant

But exhaling wisdom

And comforting words.

 

We wandered off into the night together,

Just you and me,

My hand wholly consumed by yours.

The silvery moon reflected into my

Bright, innocent eyes,

As I cast my gaze upwards

And shone

With wonder so pure

That this memory

Remains untouched

By what I now know.

 

You lifted me to your shoulders

With no effort at all.

Lifting me closer to the heavens

That were ablaze with colour

And reverberated with the sounds

That could dull my senses.

Fireworks.

But most of all

You lifted me closer to you.

 

If it were possible

To stay like that,

Frozen in that moment forever,

I think I would do it.

The real question is

Would you?

 

Halls

I lie in bed,
My small alien bed;
Too soft pillows
And scratchy sheets.
The room is near pitch black
And I cannot make out
Anything familiar,
Though I doubt
This is because
Of my sight.
I’m starting to hear
Proof of the world
Awakening;
A cough here,
A door creaking there.
Somewhere close
Somebody is neglecting
Their alarm clock.
Its invasive shouts
Are not enough
To wake this
Snoozing champ.
And then –
Silence
For a few precious moments.
It’s as if I’m finally
Alone.
And everything that I think
And feel
And hear
And smell
And see
Is completely mine
And I cherish
This long forgotten thing
Called privacy.
Peace.
Quiet.
Calm.
But wait –
There goes a toilet chain.
And back to reality I go.

Ode To Friendship

Siblings are a strange thing;

This here is my brother

Tied to me like a string

With blood like mine

And dark dark hair,

My damn straight nose,

Is what we share.

But here are also

Several sisters of mine

Who look nothing like me

And don’t share my family line

Yet they all still claim

Fragments of my heart

To take with them

Whenever we’re apart.

Wherever they may go

They must keep it safe and warm

Clasped tightly to their chests

As if to survive a storm.

Our memories will forever tie us –

We have faced many years together,

Seen each other’s tears

Both joyous and piteous, however

Our triumphs, of which were many,

Could often numb the pain –

All to bring us closer still;

Our friendship will remain.

You truly are my dearest sisters,

Best friends, old and new,

I couldn’t ask for any better

So this one is for you.

Packing Up

How does one simply

Pack up

18 years of life

And move it

Somewhere foreign

And unknown?

A place that has not

Earned my affection

Or the title of holding

Something as precious

As all my 18 years.

I do not yet know,

But I suppose I’ll find out

Soon enough.

Cathartic Writing

There’s something wrong
With me, you say?
Perhaps, though I
Would answer nay.
If cloudy skies
Grow darker still,
Ascent becomes
A climb uphill,
You know that I
Will still deny
My need to talk,
To breathe a sigh.
You may ask
Why I’m this way,
And honestly
I cannot say
For all I know
Is that these words
Heal those that
Are never heard.

Love At First Sight

I’ve never believed
In love at first sight,
Could not comprehend
That the cliché was right
But as soon as I held
All your weight in my arms
My heart became yours
And I fell under your charms.
You looked up at me
With inquisitive eyes,
Stretched out your arms
And let out a cry.
Then you soon fell asleep
And I just held you there;
Your whole life ahead
With memories we’ll share.
But for now, sweet baby,
Just sleep safe and sound
And know that my love
Can always be found.

Paris

Paris.
It is every bit as
Breathtakingly wonderful
As the stories tell;
Nothing can compare to
The mighty shadows cast by
The Notre Dame,
Eiffel Tower,
Sainte-Chappelle
Or Pantheon,
But it is also
So much more than that.
It’s the tiny details
That will soon fade from
Our memories
That are the best.
The satisfying crunch that
The fallen leaves make,
And that fresh smell of a bakery
On every street corner.
The squeals of the metro lines
And the romantic accordion playing
In the carriage nearby.
The welcoming people
And their appreciative stares,
The lack of judgement
Wherever we went.
The crazy whir of traffic
That still makes no sense to me,
And that everywhere you turn
It’s impossible to escape
The culture
And the history
And the beauty;
I never want to forget.