I liked it when you cradled me
And when we took that 5th, 6th, 7th shot.
I felt unassailable in your arms;
My lips fit onto yours like a long missed puzzle piece
Just for that curtailed period of time.
Your stubbly chin lacerated mine and
Your hands: sweeping across my back,
Down my legs, holding my face-
So surprisingly gentle.
My face, tinged pink with elation; desire.
It all felt so easy.
But so wrong.
And the toxic drink deafened me from the warning cry.
I didn’t like the pounding in my head the next morning
Or telling you it didn’t mean anything,
Hoping you didn’t feel anything either.
God, I hope you don’t.
Facing our friends and pretending everything is normal
But it’s not.
Now my face is burning red; embarrassment, shame.
And I’ll never live it down,
Especially not in the eyes of my best friend, your ex.
Soon to be my ex.
What have I done?